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| The Enterprise meet their new foe: a prosecuting attorney with charges of gross incompetence for the whole crew |
Writer: Edward J. Lasko
Director: Marvin Chomsky
Oh dear. We've now entered a spatial anomaly called "so-bad-its-good". Its pretty much a treacherous terrain, full of plot holes, bad acting, ridiculous situations and innefectiveness on all counts. Not many ships have managed to escape the zone, but the few who did have had scars lasting a lifetime.
The Enterprise has been under constant threat of this oftentime inescapable area of space, yet always managed to remain on its periphery by a combination of extreme overconfidence and sheer good luck. Now in its third season, however, the ship falters at last.
The Enteprise arrive at Triacus to answer a distress call sent by the research team stationed there. Of course, the team is dead by the time Captain Kirk and friends beam down on the planet, except for the children, who act completely unconcerned that their parents have died. (Have you notice the number of times the Enterprise arrive at a planet where everybody's dead, or just about to die? Frankly, the ship should rename itself USS Deathbringer).
The tapes reveal that the research team is going cuckoo, due to "the enemy within" (wait a minute, haven't they done this episode before?), a malignant force which drove them to suicide. Dr. McCoy takes the children back to the ship, and that's when the fun really begins. For those pesky kids have made contact with a creature known as The Gorgan, played by attorney Melvin Belli. Belli suggests the children sue the Enterprise for malpractice....errr....no, sorry, let's start again.
See, this is where the problems begin to pile up. It's a general consensus in dramatic writing that you should make the villain as interesting than the hero, if not more interesting. Where would Captain Kirk be without Kahn, Trelayne, Apollo, Charlie Evans, Gen. Chang and all the others? Certainly in a better place than he is right now, stuck with an uninteresting monster-of-the-week played by a non-actor. The Gorgan's devilish plans (such as they are) have but the flimsiest of objectives: he wants to leave Triacus for Marcus XII. Why? Because there are far more people there than on Triacus. Why is that relevant? Well, because...because Ed Lasko said so. He should know, he wrote this thing.
And the Children Shall Lead rests fully on the notion that the Enterprise crew will tolerate a gang of creepy kids and their Gorgan-inspired shenanigans. The Gorgan wants the kids to leave orbit and make way for Macus III on the double. So they use their Gorgan-given psychic abilities to torment the crew with their worst fears: Lt. Uhura sees herself as an old, decaying crone in her mirror, Mr. Sulu is made to see a halo of swords on the viewscreen (an amateur swordsman...afraid of swords, what a concept), Mr. Scott is made afraid of touching anything, for fear of breaking up the Enterprise and Captain Kirk, seeing his crew for what they really are (blithering idiots), is afraid of losing command of his ship.
Y'know, I'm getting a bit fed up with these otherwordly entities who can wait patiently for centuries to get out of a jam, suddenly becoming as patient as a hamster on cocaine when the opportunity arises. With the kids on board, the Gorgan had everything he could possibly want. All the villain had to do what to sit this one out until the Enterprise had had enough of Triacus and proceed to its next destination. The kids could even have pretended to be sad to placate Kirk and co. But nooooo! No, they had to switch the Weirdness up to eleven and scare the bejeesus out of everybody, alerting anyone and his brother that something's going on.
And the Gorgan is really one stupid son of a bitch. In one particularly telling scene, the children summon Gorgan on the bridge, in front of everybody, and he blithely reveals his evil plans...because he hadn't realised he wasn't just talking to the kids but to everyone within earshot. No, really, this takes the cake. It's one thing when the villains reveal their nasty plans to the heroes on purpose, it's an entirely different things when they do because they fail to notice the heroes in plain view.
Alrighty then, let's wrap this up 'cause I haven't got all day. Captain Kirk defeat the Gorgan by showing the children clips of their parents, tirggering grief and mourning for the dead. It works and the children defeat Gorgan by...crying. What can I say? He's a stupid villain, so he dies stupidly. Kudos for Melvin Belli for his non-acting, he may have been a big shot in courtrooms, on screen he's just completely uneffective. Oh, and by the way, why did Captain Kirk bury the dead on Triacus, Hadn't it occured to him that these people might have relatives who'd want to bury them properly, on a spot of their own chosing? No? Well, nuts to them then.
Stardate: 5029.5
Strange new worlds: Triacus, planet where the Starnes Expedition met its grisly fate. The Gorgan wants to conquer Marcus XII. Captain Kirk, on the other hand, wants to get rid of the kids on Starbase 4.
New life: The Gorgan, an entity created by the massacre of some marauders who had attacked the inhabitants of Epsilon Indi.
Crewman of the week: Mr. Leslie. Affected by the children's powers, he is unable to understand Captain Kirk's orders.
The Verdict: It's not as bad as Spock's Brain, but just barely. In the right mood, this is a pretty funny episode but let not the unintended humour fool you. It's a terribly written episode with a few good ideas gone to waste accompanied by a generous dose of ridiculous overacting, and unconvincing plot ideas.
