Tuesday 31 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 12  56-60


TRAVIS BICKLE

Who's he?: Just another Vietnam vet who stumbled on the streets of New York, in the mid-seventies. Luckily, Travis was able to land a job as a cab driver.
How bad is he?: Let's be honest, here, there is nothing wrong with Travis that years of intensive therapy couldn't put right. Unfortunately, therapy wasn't an option with Travis. 1970s New York was a very strange to be, Travis just had to be stranger to survive. Take one isolated ex-military + loneliness and isolation + soul crushing job + sex and violence and you've got a recipe for disaster. In fact, you start to wonder why Travis is the only one homicidal loony currently around.
What happened?: Travis snapped. Driven by madness and self-righteousness, Travis went on a rampage and killed a pimp and some of his entourage. Apparently he was lauded as a hero, or maybe he wasn't.
Appearance: Taxi Driver (1976)

DR. ZAIUS

Who's he?: Dr. Zaius is the Minister of Science and the Guardian of the Faith of Ape City, somewhere in AD 3978. At that time, Apes have become the dominant species while humans have reverted to a more primitive state.
How bad is he?: Apparently, Dr. Zaius does not see any conflict of interests in his twin job as Head Science Guy and Head Religion Guy. As long as science fits religion (and definitely not the reverse), everything's peachy keen. Woe to you, however, if you should come along with strange, theories about simian evolution, supported by odd evidence found in a strange cave down that ol' Forbidden Zone. In that case, Dr. Zaius will put the fear of Ape God into you by destroying your career, and your artefacts, for the sake of protecting the Social Food Chain (Orang Utangs first, all the rest below). Zaius could have gone on for years (and most likely had been) if not for some talking man from the past calling shenanigans on his lot.
What happened?: Against his better judgment, Dr. Zaius followed a military expedition in the Forbidden Zone because...hey, why not? He found a refuge peopled by human mutants who happens to have a god of their own...a nuclear missile. Remember that talking man from the past? He decided that the Planet of the Apes was not for him and detonated the missile. Hilarity ensued.
Appearances: Planet of the Apes (1968), Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1969)

ROBERT RUSK

Who's he?: To the police, he's the Necktie Strangler that's been bugging them for some time, For everyone else, he's a fruit and vegetable trader.
How bad is he?: Necktie Strangler should be a dead giveaway. Mr. Rusk gets a sweet kick by seducing women, strangling them and then taunt them as they lay dead before him. When the police suspects a friend of his of being him, Rusk spends no effort in making his buddy, one Richard Blaney, the fall guy for his crimes. What are friends for, eh?
What happened?: Blaney was released when the DI in charge of the case began to realise he had the wrong guy. Suspecting Blaney to "have a few words" with his best pal, the DI follows him home, and sees him looking at Rusk's latest victim. Before Blaney could utter the infamous "it's not what you think", Rusk comes along with a trunk to get rid of the body. It's all in the timing, folks.
Appearance: Frenzy (1972)

NURSE RATCHED

Who's she?: She's a nurse, I'm sure we've pretty much established that. She is, in fact, the head nurse of a mental institution somewhere in Oregon.
How bad is she?: This is really, really getting a bit depressing. Some of the monsters I've already discussed might be up for some sympathy, even understanding, and perhaps acceptance, hoping forgiveness might help them see the errors of their ways. Others, like Nurse Ratched, deserves nothing of the sort. She doesn't actually want to make anybody feel better and leave the hospital to return to their normal lives. Nooooo, Nurse Ratched likes her patients exactly where they are: under her thumb. She's a cold, unfeeling psychopath who's main thrust is the power conferred by her job and the fact that her patients are mentally ill, making them less than reliable witnesses. If push comes to shove, beware, for Nurse Ratched will not hesitate to humiliate you until you commit suicide.
What happened?: There was this guy, MacMurphy, and he proved to be quite a challenge to her authority. We can't have that, can we? When he failed to strangle her, he was lobotomised. She returned to her post the following morning as if nothing happened.
Appearance: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

MAX CADY

Who's he?: Oh, the usual scumbag. Serial rapist, murderer and all-around bad guy.
How bad is he?: So bad, even his defense attorney did not want to see this piece of shit walking the streets again. Cady knew something wasn't right, so, once inside, he started to beef up his knowledge of the American legal system. Once Cady realised his attorney voluntarily botched his defense to secure a prison sentence, revenge was in the making.
What happened?: Cady was finally released after serving his full sentence. He seeked out his lawyer, to discuss the finer points of legal defense. For Cady, this meant harassing his attorney's family, seducing their underage daughter, and finally deciding to kill the lot of 'em.
Appearances: Cape Fear (the 1962 original and the 1991 remake)

Sunday 22 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 11  51-55
SIR JAMES BURGESS

Who's he?: He's the head of a multi-million pound conglomerate with interests all over the world. He's quite possibly one of the richest man in Britain.
How bad is he?: The bottom line rules Sir James, there's nothing too vile for Sir James if he stands to make a fast buck out of it. For instance, he was once involved in a scheme to make some money out of the small African country of Zingara. This involved turning the entire country into one big concentration camp, but that's not even the most evil part. What's cooking my goose is the fact that he was willing and able to import Napalm with the help of the Zingaran government to quell a rebellion that had been going on for quite some time. Yes, that's right, the Zingaran government was in on it from the start and wished for Sir James to tip the scale in their favor. Oh, and he embezzled some gold currency from the Bank of England. And that's beside the fact that he caused someone's suicide and dreadfully neglects his daughter Patricia.
What happened?: The authorities were in on Sir James right from the get-go, luckily for him he had a fall guy ripe for the picking. No doubt his investments in Zingara turned up a mean profit.
Appearance: O Lucky Man (1973)

THE SALO CITY COUNCIL

Who're they?: Exactly what it says on the tin. These guys rule the Salo Republic, an Italian fascist enclave in the last days of WW II. One day these guys had an excellent idea: why not kidnap several boys and girls from the village, bring them out to our remote and submit them to all sorts of physical, sexual and psychological torture. For fun.
How bad are they?: Ladies and gentlemen, let's dispense with the pleasantries, shall we? These soulless monsters deserve no less than to be put to death, as slowly and painfully as possible and then thrown down to the darkest, most fiery pits of Hell for all eternity. Problem is, they'll probably like it.
What happened?: For 120 days, young men and women were brutally tortured and then put to death like dogs, that's what.
Appearance: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)

BEN

Who's he?: Belgian hoodlum and serial killer who, somehow, caught the attention of a documentary film crew (not of those again!) who decided to make a film about him.
How bad is he?: Ben has got to be seen to be believed. He kills anyone and everyone indiscriminantly, mostly he's doing it for the money, yet one has the sense that he rather likes it as well. His victims are countless and includes old women and young children. All the while, he'll wax lyrical about pigeons, recite very bad poetry and muses endlessly about one thing or another. Ben has a theory about everything from love to urbanism. He also has a tendency to behave like an asshole at the slightest of provocation. Oh yes, he also likes to vomit in restaurants as well (for shame!)
What happened?: Ben refused to take death threats from the Mafia seriously. As a results, this got his family killed, most of his friends, the film crew and himself as well. It's called Karma, Ben.
Appearance: Man Bites Dog (1992)

BARRY CONVEX

Who's he?: A senior officer and head of special projects for Spectacular Opticals, a company who makes "cheap, inexpensive glasses for the Third World and missile guidance systems for NATO".
How bad is he?: Don't you like it when Moral Guardians like Barry here, are willing and able to commit immoral atrocities just to prove a point? Barry and his associates believe that America has to shape up or else, so they have planned to use something known as the Videodrome Signal to literally give people brain cancer while inducing powerful and soul-destructing hallucinations. Just so people will stop watching porn channels (like Civic-TV). Disproportionate retribution anyone?
What happened?: Barry has simply forgot that what has been programmed once, can be reprogrammed just as well. He made an enemy in the vengeful daughter of a former victim who promptly used Barry's own weapon against him. The results were not pretty.
Appearance: Videodrome (1982)

MICKEY AND MALLORY KNOX

Who're they?: The modern Bonnie and Clyde. Newlyweds from Hell, Mickey and Mallory engaged in a brutal killing spree across the United States, always one step away from the Law and becoming media darlings in the process.
How bad are they?: Woe to you if Mickey and Mallory come a-knockin'. They will not think twice in executing everyone they come in contact with, for no good reason at all. And the public laps it all up. Everyone likes a good outlaw, and the Knoxes fit the bill perfectly. It helps that, whatever carnage they instigate, Mickey and Mallory always leave one person alive, "to tell the story". Media savvy to the very last, eh?
What happened?: Finally, Mickey and Mallory were arrested and sent to a maximum security facility. However, on the evening that Mickey was the star of a nationwide TV interview, a prison riot erupted giving the couple the perfect opportunity for a break out. And break out they did. Apparently, they retired from criminal activities to raise a family and have fallen under the radar. But you never know, you just never know...
Appearance: Natural Born Killers (1994)

Thursday 19 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 10  46-50


CAPTAIN BEATTY

Who's he?: Captain Beatty is the commander of a fireman's squad. However, since this is a future, Dystopian society, the firemen do not put out fires, but burn books instead. For the written word has been forbidden. 
How bad is he?: OK, one could argue that Captain Beatty is just 'doing his job' and he has the full support of the law in doing so. Which makes even more evil, in my opinion, than any common criminals. Captain Beatty represents a society where, deprived of litterature, humans have been turned into depressive, suicidal plastic people who only live to watch mindless TV and have lost any capacity to internalise deeper, and more profoundly meaninful, emotions. If you don't believe me, ask his fellow fireman Montag's wife, who can't even remember the day she first met her husband, and live only to participate in stupid so-called "interactive" television.
What happened?: Don't you hate it when you realise your life's work has been actually supporting an oppressive regime? Montag did, and when Beatty served him another one of his self-righteous monologues, he was quickly burned to a crisp.
Appearance: Fahrenheit 451 (1966)

JACK THE RIPPER

Who's he?: There are many theories about the Ripper's identity. One is that he was John Leslie Stephenson, a surgeon and great pal of H.G. Wells. When Cornered by the police at Wells' house, he used his friend's time machine to escape to 1979 San Francisco.
How bad is he?: A surgeon with a warped mind, able to combine an extensive knowledge of anatomy with criminal psychopathy. The results speak for themselves. In restrospect, escaping to the future was a bad move. As Stephenson says himself: "90 years ago I was a freak, today I'm an amateur". Back in the day, Stephenson was alone in his "chosen field of expertise", in 1970s America he was outclassed and outmatched by luminaries such as Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, the Son of Sam, Zodiac and many, many others. Competition was stiff, and Stephenson became just another also-ran.
What happened?: Stephenson had enough and wanted to take Wells' time machine for another spin. That he did, though not before Wells took out That Special Thingamabob which sent Stephenson all across time and space...without the machine. He was never heard from again and the Ripper's identity still eludes the Law.
Appearance: Time After Time (1979), for this version of the Ripper. There are countless others.

PROFESSOR MORIARTY

Who's he?: The "Napoleon of Crime", according to his arch-enemy Sherlock Holmes. James Moriarty was a professor of Mathematics at one of those ol' Victorian colleges. Boredom set in and Moriarty used his extraordinary brain power to set himself up as a criminal mastermind.
How bad is he?: When someone commits crimes that can trump the Great Detective, you know you're in for a special treat. Pr. Moriarty is a cold, calculating and ruthless villain who plays the world like a game of chess. A game he knows all too well. And like a good chessplayer, he is not above sacrificing minor chesspieces while keeping his eyes on the prize.
What happened?: Moriarty went to see Holmes and told him he didn't appreciate undue interference in his affairs. You don't say things like that to Sherlock Holmes. The two of them went mano a mano at Reichenbach Falls, in Switzerland where Holmes was unceremoniously pushed over the cliff (he got better).
Appearances: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) is the latest in a long list of appearances.

ROWNTREE

Who's he?: He's the Senior Whip at College House, a British public school. Although technically only a student, Rowntree wields a great deal of authority able to run roughshod over the heads of anyone who actually thinks they run College House, like, say, the Headmaster.
How bad is he?: Oh dear. We could start by saying he's an insufferable tin-pot tyrant, full of his own self-importance but that's just scratching the surface. To think that he's destined to a very prominent job as a civil servant gives a frightening new meaning to the word "bureaucracy". Rowntree here will not hesitate to punish anyone whom he feels a challenge to his authoritee, even if they haven't really done anything. He likes to play mindgames with people, sporting that disgusting air of superioty all the while. Fortunately, such bastards have a tendency to create their own opposition...
What happened?: ...Like Mick Travis, Johnny and Wallace for instance. These three were just minding their own business, bumming it 'till the summer holidays when Rowntree had to be Rowntree and make an enemy of the power trio. Faster than you can say "sod that", Mick and his friends had gone from revolutionary rethoric to full blown insurrection. And on Founders' Day to boot!
Appearance: If.... (1968)

GANGLION MAN & FAT BASTARD

Who're they?: Two guys from the Deep South driving along in a pickup truck.
How bad are they?: This one's fairly cut and dried. They meet two bikers on the highway and decide to "scare" them by killins both of them with a shotgun. For no good reason. Just like that. There are no words...no words.
What happened?: Since that incident happened at the end of the movie, probably nothing much. I, for one, strongly doubt that the police inquiry over the death of two "outlaw bikers" from California revealed anything conclusive, and that any charges were actually brought against anyone.
Appearance: Easy Rider (1969)

Tuesday 17 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 9  41-45


CATHERINE TRAMELL

Who's she?: Technically, she's a crime novelist. In reality, instead of wracking her brains trying to come up with one intriguing plot after another, she basically enacts them in real life and then write about it later.
How bad is she?: When I say Catherine enacts the plot of her novels for real, I mean that she usually cast herself as the villain of the piece. Do not let her gorgeous appearance fool you. Catherine is a psychopath who seduces men and women, take them for one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride and then get rid of them once her latest opus is complete. Sometimes she'll just put an ice pick into you when she can't come up with a better ending.
What happened?: Her latest victim was a recovering drug addict cop, already in a relationship, whom she emotionally tortured to get him on the brink of insanity. She manipulated him into killing an innocent woman. She did not ice pick him, though. She later moved to London, carrying on with her usual bag of tricks.
Appearances: Basic Instinct (1992), Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

LEATHERFACE

Who's he?: Just a simple butcher. Leatherface comes from a long line of butchers and abattoir operators down in Texas.
How bad is he?: Essentially, Leatherface is an autistic person who's just born into the wrong family. Instead of sending him off in therapy, Leatherface's folks just introduced him to the family business. When a couple of kids came along uninvited, Leatherface flipped out and killed them all. Most of his victime were later served for supper, as his family had discovered the taste of human meat makes for a perfectly balanced meal.
What happened?: Armed with his trusty chainsaw, Leatherface killed those kids one by one. Except for that One Girl, who managed to escape after spending an harrowing night among Leatherface's peculiar family.
Appearances: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and many further sequels and remakes.

NORMAN BATES

Who's he?: The manager of the off-the-road Bates Motel, somewhere in California. He operates it with his bed-ridden, ill-tempered mother.
How bad is he?: Well, initially Norman may appear as a shy, introverted young man with a couple of Mommy issues but don't let that fool you. Norman is dangerously insane. When his sexual desires get in the way of management, expect him to have one argument too many with his Mom and unleash his mean streak. Ask Marion Crane, a one-time resident of Bates Motel.
What happened?: Norman's mom had died some years back, yet blood runs thicker than water. And its quite difficult to clean, too. He was sent to the loony bin for about twenty years. And then he was released. And Bates Motel was reopened for business.
Appearances: Psycho (1960), Psycho II (1982), Psycho III (1986)

RAMSES II

Who's he?: Pharaoh of Egypt from 1279 to 1213 BC.
How bad was he?: Ramses had issues with his adoptive brother Moses. See, for about 400 years, Egypt "employed" Hebrew slaves to do most of the hard work. Moses, it turned out, was a Hebrew adopted by Ramses' father, Seti. However, Moses origin were revealed to him by God Himself and ordered Moses to liberate the slaves. Ramses wouldn't have any of it. He had quite an extensive building program going on and needed all the help he could get. You could say the Exodus was a labor problem gone from bad to worse.
What happened?: It's never a good idea to oppose someone chosen by God to do something. Several plagues struck Egypt at that point, and then Moses made his move. He parted the Red Sea to allow the slaves safe passage but when Ramses and his army followed suit, the Red Sea engulfed them all.
Appearance: The Ten Commandments (1956)

DR. GONZO

Who's he?: Is real name may be Oscar Zeta Acosta. An associate of journalist Raoul Duke (aka Hunter S. Thompson). Believe it or not this man was actually an attorney. Raoul Duke's attorney. One day, both of them went to Vegas to cover a motorcyle race, and went back again to cover a law enforcement conference on narcotics.
How bad is he?: Dr. Gonzo is not evil. Frank Zappa once said that taking drugs is somebody giving himself permission to act like an asshole. So, how assholish can someone be when he has ingested almost every drug known to mankind (at the same time)? A lot, I say. You do not want to be in the same room with Gonzo when he is fueled by a coctail of uppers, downers, coke, booze, mescalin and high-powered blotter acid. All the while wielding a gun and a very large Bowie knife. You just don't. You also do not want to be a waitress, working the late night shift at an out-of-town diner when Gonzo comes a-callin' as a customer. You see, he won't actually hurt anyone, but the killer is that you don't know that he won't.
What happened?: The trip to Vegas was...quite interesting...shall we say (in the Chinese meaning of the word). As for Acosta, he later visited Mexico in 1974 and was never heard from again. His son believes he has been killed by drug people.
Appearances: Where the Buffalo Roam (1980), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)


Thursday 12 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 8  36-40


PONTIUS PILATE

Who's he?: In the first century AD, Pilate here was the Prefect of Judea during the reign of the emperor Tiberius. Somewhere in AD 33, Pilate had to question some guy named Jesus, accused of treason and sedition. Unable to make his mind up about it, he let the people decide who, between Jesus and a thief named Barrabas, should be nailed to the cross.
How bad is he?: According to Scriptures, Pilate allowed the Son of God to die a horrible death. I know, I know, everything went according to God's plan and Jesus had to take the fall but, come on, that's harsh. Oddly enough, the Gospels portrayed him in a not wholly negative light. Mostly, he's just a Roman official who had to make a difficult decision under difficult circumstances (Judea was a hotbed of revolutionary activities back then). In real life, Pilate was severly criticised by his Roman masters, who accused him of fueling sedition and revolution with his tyrannical treatment of the Jews. He was recalled to Rome by his boss, Tiberius, but was lucky enough to avoid prosecution when Tiberius died shortly before Pilate arrived.
What happened?: Hum, let's see...Oh Yes! Jesus was crucified.
Appareances: Come on! He's in every film and TV series about Jesus. His last appearance was in Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ (2004)

NERO

Who's he?: Born Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, he took the name Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus when adopted by the emperor Claudius. Upon his adoptive father's death in AD 54, Nero succeeded him as the fifth Roman emperor.
How bad is he?: Give a 17 years-old kid absolute mastery of the world and see what happens. Nero competely upstaged his uncle Caligula in the "mad emperor" department. However, Nero understood a few things or two about power: if you don't want to be blamed for something bad, blame it on somebody else. So, in AD 64 when Rome was ablaze with fire, Nero shifted the blame from himself to this gang of misfits known as Christians. The lions of the arena were well fed from now on. Oh, and he killed his adoptive brother, his adoptive sister/wife, he caused his second wife to die of a miscarriage and he killed his mother.
What happened?: In AD 68 several of his generals rebelled against him. Believing they were simply having a bad day, he did nothing. And then the Senate declared him a public enemy. He committed suicide shortly afterwards.
Appearances: Many, but Quo Vadis (1951) is the definitive portrayal.

OTIS TOOLE

Who's he?: He's the partner in crime of Henry. A team of serial killers operating somewhere in Illinois. He also sells drugs on the side.
How bad is he?: He's a serial killer, for a start. See, we could muster a shred of sympathy for his pard' Henry due to his unhappy childhood but Otis is a complete and utter degenerate through and through. There is just no depth Otis won't sink to, voluntarily and of his own free will. He's a total, unredeemable monster.
What happened?: Things were going good for Otis and Henry, until Otis' sister came to live with them (she was running away from an abusive relationship). Still, the two of them maintained some semblance of normalcy. Until Otis tried to rape his sister. Henry had issues with that and quickly killed Otis for this latest transgression. Good riddance!
Appearance: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

GRAND MOFF TARKIN

Who's he?: Tarkin was the commander of the Death Star, the Galactic Empire's new superweapon.
How bad is he?: OK, first of all he was Darth Vader's boss and could bitch slap him like the best of 'em. Who's badass now, eh? Secondly, to demonstrate the ultimate power of his newfangled space station he destroyed the planet Alderaan on a whim, after promising not to do so if Princess Leia spilled the beans about her Rebel friends. If he did that on a spur-of-the-moment decision, imagine what he could do if he really set his mind to it.
What happened?: Arrogance, that's what. When the Rebel fleet launched an attack against the Death Star, Tarkin refused to evacuate even though there was clear and present danger. Then, a pilot named Luke Skywalker came along and things went boom!
Appearance: Star Wars (1977)

DIABOLIK

Who's he?: Diabolik is an international criminal mastermind who's off around the world with his bodacious partner Eva Kant pulling several kinds of mayhem for money and pleasure.
How bad is he?: Diabolik is one though cookie. He always seems to be one step away from the law, all the while stealing and murdering anything and anyone in sight. Although his heist are always meticulously planned ahead, he is not above some petty acts of revenge. Like when he blew up the Italian stock exchange, just because he could.
What happened?: His latest scheme went South and he was encased in irradiated gold, so the whole world could finally breathe. However, it must be said that Diabolik has returned from scrapes worse than this.
Appearance: Danger Diabolik (1968)

Wednesday 11 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 7  31-35

O'BRIEN
Who's he?: O'Brien is a senior official of the INGSOC party ruling Oceania in 1984. He is part of the ruling class known as the Inner Party, and, as such, he has several discretionary powers over everything and everyone.
How bad is he?: 6079 Smith W. unbellyful ingsoc. Thoughtcrime doubleplus ungood. Sexcrime doubleplus ungood. Ref: 6079 Smith W. unperson. Ref: 6079 Smith W. Room 101.
What happened?: Oceania is at war with Eastasia. Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.
Appearance: 1984 (1984)

THE BLACK KNIGHT

Who's he?: Somewhere in Medieval England there was a bridge. A bridge guarded by this here Black Knight. No one knows why he guarded that bridge, or who put him there in the first place. His orders were very clear, though: none shall pass!
How bad is he?: The Black Knight is a loony, that much is certain. Hack his limbs off, and he'll keep coming at ya, bleeding on your tabard and chainmail. As everyone knows, getting blood stains off your clothes is a nightmare. Plus, even reduced to a torso, the Black Knight won't even grant you victory. He's one hell of a sore loser.
What happened?: The Black Knight may have killed many a good knight trying to cross the bridge, however Arthur, king of the Britons, is no mere knight. A mere tap of that Excalibur of his and you've become the poster child for war amputees. Ask the Black Knight, not that he'd admit it of course...
Appearance: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974)

AGENT SMITH

Who's he?: Agent Smith is not an actual person. Rather, he's a computer program designed to operate inside the Matrix, an elaborate computer simulation designed to resemble the real world ca. 1999. His main task is to hunt down and terminate human beings who have escaped from the Matrix and use illegal download privilieges to hack themselves back into the Matric and wreak havok and mayhem.
How bad is he?: Well, here's the deal: Agent Smith is not a human being. He's a computer program working inside another computer program, and thus he is unburdened by the normal laws of physics. In short, he is super strong, super fast and can download copies of himself inside everyone still hooked into the Matrix. Plus he hates human beings.
What happened?: Everyone knows computers get viruses from time to time, and everyone knows viruses do funny things to a computer. So you can guess that, if Agent Smith behaved like a computer virus, then things started to get bad for everybody. In the ends, the Machines and Human beings made an alliance to stop this bastard, using Neo as their resident super hero.
Appearances: The Matrix (1999), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003)


MORGAN LE FEY

Who's she?: She is the daughter of the Duke of Cornwall and his wife Ygraine. One day, King Uther Pendragon had the hots for her mother, so he told his friend Merlin to make him appear as the good Duke so he could bang her. In return, Uther promised to give the child back to Merlin. That child was Arthur, future King of Britain and Morgan's half-brother.
How bad is she?: Driven by revenge for what happened to her Mom, Morgan ingratiated herself to Merlin so she could learn his magick. That she did and she used it to appear as Arthur's estranged wife Guinevere and bed him, giving birth to Arthur's son and nephew Mordred. Oh, and when she was done with Merlin, she trapped him in ice deep inside her lair.
What happened?: Merlin is not the sort of person to be upstaged by a mere apprentice. He eventually escaped and literally sucked the breath out of her, so Morgan aged from a ripe young woman to an old crone in a matter of seconds. Ouch!
Appearance: Excalibur (1981)

BIFF TANNEN

Who's he?: Resident bully and douchebag of Hill Valley, California who made the life of the McFly family a living hell. Until, that is, Marty McFly went back in time and taught his future Dad a thing or two about self-respect.
How bad is he?: It's easy to dismiss Tannen as just a simple asshole, like many others but see he got hold of this book about every outcome of every game of baseball for the last 50 years and he gave it to his younger self, somehow. Using it to bet on every game made Tannen a very rich man, so, in an alternate time-line of the year 2017, Tannen owned Hill Valley and turned it into Gangsta Paradise, killing George McFly and marrying his widow, Lorraine (Marty's Mom if you recall).
What happened? Succesfully betting on sports events does not make you intelligent, just lucky. And Biff is just one dumb jock regurlarly getting creamed by a McFly in the past, present and future of Hill Valley.
Appearances: The Back to the Future trilogy (1985-1990)

Tuesday 3 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 6  26-30


COLONEL KURTZ

Who's he?: A third generation West Point graduate who would have no doubt rose to the highest ranks of the United States army, destined for a top job at the Pentagon. Unfortunately, he was deployed in Viet Nam and things went downhill from there.
How bad is he?: It's kind of a gray area in this case. Obviously, the good Colonel went completely insane and decided to secede from the US army. He rounded up a rag tag army made up of both Vietnamese troops and some of his own men and decided to wage war against his own country. But even that could be excusable under the circumstances. What is less so is that he played the part of medieval warlord up to the hilt, complete with the severed heads of his enemies stuck on pikes on full display.
What happened?: The army sent a special forces operative, Captain Willard, to terminate his command. The mission was somewhat successful though reports vary as to what happened afterwards. Fog of war and all that...
Appearance: Apocalypse Now (1979)


VICTOR ZIEGLER

Who's he?: We don't know what it is Ziegler actually does, but apparently he has made a whole lot of money doing it. Ziegler loves parties and never fails to attend one, as a host or as a guest.
How bad is he?: On a very good day, we could forgive Ziegler for cheating on his wife with drugged-out prostitutes. However Ziegler is appartently the kind of man who likes to up the ante. He's actually part of some sort of club for the immensely rich and powerful who like to gather round in a lush Long Island mansion and take part in ritualised orgies. Whern a friend of his is caught infiltrating said orgy, Ziegler will crank the conspiracy meter up to eleven to scare him away, even if that means resorting to murder and intimidation.
What happened?: Not sure actually, Ziegler manages to get Bill Harford off his back, but his insistance that nothing sinister has took place is...unconvincing, shall we say.
Appearance: Eyes Wide Shut (1999)



GENERAL MIRAUD

Who's he?: French military officer during WWI. In order to win some medal or another, Gen. Miraud was ordered to take the Ant Hill, a key German position reputed to be impregnable.
How bad is he?: General Miraud is a self-serving opportunist of the worst sort. He knew right away he couldn't take the ant hill but that shiny medal made it all worthwhile, didn't it? When his men were pinned down by the Germans he ordered  an artillery barrage down on his own troops to get 'em out of the trenches. When the whole thing failed miserably he blamed it all on them and had three soldiers summarily executed for cowardice.
What happened?: Thanks to the dedication of his subordinate, Col. Drax, an inquiry terminated the General's command, though it didn't prevent the execution nor did it prevent the Ant Hill massacre. As you can see, WWI was just one big barrell of fun for everybody.
Appearance: Paths of Glory (1957)



CHIEF BLUE MEANIE

Who's he?: Absolute leader of the Blue Meanies, an army of music-hating, fun-hating creatures who detest happiness and contentment.
How bad is he?: The Chief Blue Meanie is one party-pooping sourpuss. You can expect him to turn up (unexpectedly) and start bringing everybody down. And he won't come alone. He'll gather round his army of killjoys to ruin everyone's day. No wonder Blue Meanies are...well...mean.
What happened?: Somewhere in 1968 AD, the Blue Meanies attacked Pepperland, an underwater paradise. Thanks to Old Fred and his yellow submarine, the Beatles were brought down to Pepperland to lighten things up a bit.
Appearance: Yellow Submarine (1968)



DR. STRANGELOVE

Who's he?: Scientific advisor to the Pentagon, answerable only to the President of the United States.
How bad is he?: Dr. Strangelove appartently has had a lot of things figured out by the time General Ripper launched his unprovoked nuclear strike against the USSR. He knew someone would eventually screw up with Wing Attack Plan R, and that the Russians might develop a retaliatory measure of some sort. So he had a whole life in one of those deep mine shatfs planned right from the outset for the survivors. For some other reason, he keeps calling the president "Mein Fuhrer" and just couldn't keep his arm from making Nazi salute. He also had a plan against a mine shaft gap but he was interrupted by total nuclear annihilation.
What happened?: Since everyone failed to prevent one single B52 bomber from dropping its payload on Russia, triggering the Soviets' Doomsday Device the entire human race was exterminated.
Appearance: Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) (1964)

Monday 2 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 5  21-25

THULSA DOOM

Who's he?: In the distant past of the Hyborian Age rose a warlord who started out as your typical conqueror but then realised that organised religion was the real deal. He soon set up his snake cult across civilisation enthralling his victims with his magnetic personality.
How bad is he?: Thulsa Doom commands a powerful army, and his fanatical followers are quite willing and able to do exactly whatever he orders them to. What's more, Doom is a sorcerer with snakes and serpents bound to his will. He also had shape changing abilities, and hypnotic powers.
What happened?: Thulsa Doom ran afoul of Conan of Cimmeria, a young barbarian whose tribe he exterminated almost down to the last man and woman. Conan spent years and years looking for revenge and, eventually, he found it.
Appearance: Conan the Barbarian (1981)


GENERAL ZOD
Who's he?: Back on Krypton, Gen. Zod was the commander in chief of the kryptonian army, responsible for the security of the planet itself. Along with his two associates Ursa and Non, Zod was tried and convicted of treason by the High Council and sentenced to eternal incarceration inside the Phantom Zone. They were able to break out eventually, and attempted (successfully, I might add) to take over the Earth.
How bad is he?: On his homeworld, Zod was your typical power mad military officer hellbent on establishing his own little dictatorship. Back on Earth, he was all that but now had the powers and abilities of his fellow countryman Kal-El (better known as Superman). Plus he was accompanied by his similarly powered up friends. For a time, he was indeed the absolute master of the world. That's how bad he was.
What happened?: Since Kal-El was the son of his long-dead jailer, he obviously had some bone to pick with him. Fortunately, Superman was more than able to deal with him and permanently removed him from office.
Appearance: Superman the Movie (1978), Superman II (1982), Man of Steel (2013)




THE CEMETERY GHOUL
Who's he?: Who knows? What he was and what he did as a living, breathing human being remains forever unknown. He was one of the first undead ghoul witnessed by Johnny and Barbara as they were visiting their father's grave in rural Pennsylvania. He killed Johnny and then followed Barbara down to an abandoned house where he gathered a herd of other zombies trapping Barbara and her cohorts inside.
How bad is he?: He's a flesh eating ghoul. And he's not alone. And they're all impervious to pain or crippling injuries, relentless in their search of human flesh to devour. The only way to kill them is to hit the brain, either with a bullet or a blunt instrument. Aynone they bite become a flesh eating ghoul. You can see where this is going.
What happened?: He was shot by Sheriff McLellan's posse. His own posse got bigger and bigger.
Appearance: Night of the Living Dead (1968)




DICK JONES

Who's he?: At the time of his death, Dick Jones was CEO of OCP (OmniConsumer Product), a major multinational corporation controlling anything and everything under the sun, including the Detroit Police Department and the military.
How bad is he?: A resume like Jones' would be enough to satsify the ambitions of just about anybody, but Jones wanted more. He associated himself with underworld thug Clarence Boddicker to control Detroit's gangland thus making profits not only from legitimate enterprises but illegal ones as well. Getting "fired" by Jones usually meant a visit by Boddicker, which meant you probably had to forgo any severance bonuses. Plus, Jones was perfectly willing and able to supply murderously defective law enforcement robots as long as the bottom line swung his way.
What happened?: A pet project by one of Jones' boardroom rivals ended his tenure at OCP, he was unceremoniously fired without severance pay. Not that he would have needed it as his bullet-riddled body fell off the OCP building.
Appearances: Robocop (1987)



SAURON

Who's he?: Sauron was the absolute ruler of Mordor, a land of evil South West of Middle Earth. He had vast armies of Orcs, Goblins and Rignwraiths at his disposal. Long ago, Sauron attempted to take control of Middle Earth but was defeated by an Elf-Human alliance. Defeated, but not destroyed.
How bad is he?: This quote should sums it up: "Three rings for the Elven-kings under the sky. Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone. Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne. In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie."
What happened?: Thanks to his One Ring, Sauron's life force was preserved even if his body was killed. 3000 years later he attempted to get his ring back and start another reign of terror. Thanks to some Hobbits, he didn't make it.
Appearances: The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003)

Sunday 1 December 2013

100 GREATEST MOVIE VILLAINS

Pt. 4  16-20

CASANOVA FRANKENSTEIN

Who's he?: One of the baddest, craziest and most stylish of the supervillain community of Champion City.
How bad is he?: Bad enough for the justice department locking his ass up in a mental insitution for the rest of his life. Come on, with a name like Casanova Frankenstein you know you're up to no good. Even his arch-nemesis Captain Amazing said so. Plus, his major henchmen were the Disco Boys, now that's bad.
What happened?: Ask Batman if he'll consider releasing the Joker for some PR stunt. Unfortunately, Captain Amazing is not Batman. Under the guise of his secret identity, the good Captain had Casanova released so he could have one last blaze of glory against him. This time, Casanova was playing for keeps and intended to burn the city down to the ground. Champion City was saved by a rag-tag buch of would-be heroes (after accidentally killing Captain Amazing).
Appearance: Mystery Men (1999)


EDWARD LIONHEART

Who is he?: Edward Lionheart was a British Shaskpearean actor. He spent his entire life dedicated in keeping the Bard's work alive and well. Unfortunately, he never got that Critic's Choice award and so he committed suicide. Apparently.
How bad is he?: Obsession was Lionheart talon d'Achylle. Other actors never get any award, still they soldier on. But not for Lionheart. He wanted that award and by God if they won't give him to them, then he'll systematically going to kill them all using Shakeaspeare's plays as inspiration. And when it came to killing people on stage, Shakespeare was the bees' knees.
What happened?: He did it. He started killing the critics' circle using death scenes from Julius Caesar, Titus Andronicus, Richard III and other masterworks of world litterature. He finally met his match with Perry Devlin, the one critic most devoted to not giving Lionheart his pound of flesh. He lost, but before giving one last encore for the audience.
Appearance: Theatre of Blood (1973)


MATTHEW HOPKINS

Who's he?: Back in the troubled times of the English Civil War, Matthew Hopkins was the self-appointed Witchfinder General. His main job was to investigate and prosecute anyone accused of witchcraft. For a fee.
How bad is he?: Assuming anyone he prosecuted and had executed was actually innocent of any wrongdoing, you get a feeling that Mr Hopkins here is no Mr Sunshine. And there's the self-appointed part. There was no such official position as Wintchfinder General. Faked credentials never go down well with anybody, do they? And he did it so he could get rich enough to buy property and become a landed gentleman. Quite the social climber are we, Mr Hopkins?
What happened?: When you start picking on people who can actually defend themselves, things have a tendency to go wrong very fast. Hopkins had a go at tormenting a family protected by a Parliamentary officer. Killing someone's bride-to-be makes for ackward conversations afterwards.
Appearance: The Witchfinder General (1968)


THE BLAIR WITCH

Who is she?: Back in colonial times, Ellie Kedward was an Irish immigrant who settled down in Blair, Maryland. She was found guilty of poisoning some of the local children. She was sentenced to die from exposure. But you can't put a good witch down, can you?
How bad is she?: She's still out there, guarding the woods surrounding the former location of Blair (now Burkittsville, Maryland). Anyone entering the woods for no good reason will be messing with her big time. Her favorite party tricks is to get someone to do her dirty work for her, like that hermit Parr who murdered ten children some time in 1940. Everyone in Burkittsville knows about her, and everyone will tell you they've been avoiding the woods like the plague. Caveat emptor.
What happened?: The last time she manifested herself was in 1994, when a trio of amateur film makers went to make a documentary about her. Well, they wanted a witch, by God they got a witch. They were never heard from again, though footage of their documentary told a very interesting story.
Appearances: The Blair Witch Project (1999), Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)


THE ALAN YATES FILM CREW

Who are they?: Three documentary film makers (Alan Yates, Faye Daniels and Jack Anders) who went to the deepest reaches of the Amazon river to make a film about the last cannibal tribes in existence.
How bad are they?: See, when they didn't find anything conclusive they decided to stir up trouble and film what happened. First they set these two feuding tribes at war with each other, then they decided to burn down a village and rape some women there. Fun for the whole family.
What happened?: Some tribesmen decided they had enough of their approach to documentary film making and decided to "have them" for supper. In a way, they did find the cannibals they were looking for in the end. Alan Yates' teacher, Dr. Harold Monroe, followed in their footsteps and found their footage. Every picture tells a story.
Appearance: Cannibal Holocaust (1979)