THE ENTERPRISE INCIDENT

"Sorry, guys, but Romulan officers just have a better pay grade.
Oh, and Mr. Spock's defecting too. See ya."

Air Date:  September 27, 1968
Writer:  D.C. Fontana
Director:  John Meredyth Lucas

In my opinion, a show's greatest strength may very well be the looseness of it's format. In Star Trek's case, the whole thing can summed up like: "Well, y'see, there's this bunch of guys flying in a space ship and every week stuff happens to 'em"

Case in point: "The Enterprise Incident" whereas the ship is sent on a secret assignment and only Kirk and Spock knows what it's all about. Fine, but do they have to threaten the whole ship and its crew doing so? That's one thing ST: TNG did better than the original series. When some of the ship's officers (including Captain Picard) were required for a secret mission, they only sent those officers relevant to the mission on, without endangering the ship. Well, it's the 23d century, when people played fast and loose.

The show opens on Dr. McCoy's medical log, saying that Captain Kirk has been behaving oddly of late. And when I say "oddly" I mean Kirk has turned himself into the galaxy's worst douchebag. We see him on the bridge berating Mr Chekov for incompetence, humiliating Mr Spock and generally being bitchy with the rest of the crew. But that's nothing compared to his next move. Out of his own accord, with no orders from Starfleet Command (at least on the surface), Kirk sends the ship into the Romulan Neutral Zone, basically saying "fuck you" to a century-old treaty.

Faster than you can say "oops!", three Romulan ships decloak and surround the Enterprise. And that's when we learn that they have apparently cut a deal with the Klingons, 'cause they're using their ship designs for now on. The Romulans are understandably none too pleased with this turn of event, and ask the Enterprise to surrender. Kirk and Spock are brought on board one of the Romulan ship so they can have a few words with the Romulan commander, one of the first high ranking female officers seen in the series so far (and she's Romulan, not Federation).

By the way, before going there Kirk has a briefing with his officers whereas Mr Spock reveals that the Romulans use some sort of cloaking device to make their ships invisible. Everybody acts surprised, as if they've all forgotten about "Balance of Terror", the first Romulan episode which clearly established this cornerstone of Romulan technology. Really, the crew should buff up on their log entries before going on assignments.

On board the Romulan flagship the Commander demands an explanation. Kirk spins a cockamamie fish story about the Enterprise entering the Neutral Zone accidentally but Spock, playing Mr Traitor, contradicts his captain and states that Captain Kirk entered the Zone on his own free will, without orders for his superiors. Kirk is unceremoniously thrown into the brig (and I do mean unceremoniously, when these guys throw someone in jail, they don't mess about). With Kirk dead, the commander can now revel in the idea of bringing the Enterprise back to Romulus, quite a prized catch.

The Romulan commander begins a romance with Spock, due to their shared heritage. Spock admits that Kirk has been officially declared "crazy as a loon" by his chief medical officer. Speaking of the devil, Dr. McCoy is brought on board for a medical evaluation, where he confirms his initial diagnosis. Just to prove him right, Kirk goes batshit insane an attack Spock, startled Spock uses the Vulcan Death Grip and kills Kirk.

However, before the collective Star Trek audience can utter a collective 'what the...!?', all things are revealed at last. There is no such thing as the Vulcan Death Grip, of course, but the Romulans don't know that. It's all part of plan to sneak Kirk aboard the enemy vessell, disguised as a Romulan, to steal the cloaking device so the Federation can study it. And Spock's job is to keep the Romulan commander occupied while his captain's doing so. Lucky Spock, for the commander romances the pants off of him (not literally, though).

Kirk is already on board, stealing the device, when the Romulan commander begins to realise that something's going on, and its not her wedding to Spock. For, despite having a bucketload of street smarts and savvy, the commander has made a terrible mistake. She assumed that, because Vulcans are incapable of lying, they are incapable of keeping things from her. Patently untrue, as Spock says so himself. A master of technicalities, he says that not telling someone everything is not the same as lying (meaning, of course, that his feelings for the commander must have been genuine).

Kirk returns to the Enterprise with the cloaking device and Scotty has 15 minutes to plug an alien technology and get it up and running otherwise their five-years mission will be running a bit short. There's also the matter of beaming Spock back on the Enterprise. The commander clearly have issues with betrayal. However not only is Spock brought back on board, but he brings his new girlfriend along with him. With this leverage, and the cloak fully functional, the Enterprise returns to Federation space, their mission complete.

Stardate:  5027.3
He's dead, Jim:  Jim Kirk himself...again (though he gets better).
New civilisations:  The Romulans make their second appearance on the show.
Kirk's little black book:  Spock's in this case as he connects with the Romulan commander big time.
The Verdict:  Star Trek goes James Bond. A tight, neatly done thriller with overtones of romance and betrayal. D.C. Fontana is one of the legendary Trek writers and her understandings of what makes the series work is still amazing. A must see.